Do we need to teach our sons how to be more emotionally compatible? Such a homophobic country such as Jamaica has left a lasting impact on the minds of our young men. Young men nowadays are afraid of showing any sort of affection towards others out of fear of being considered weak or feminine. Men and women have distinctive ways of communication, despite the many views that men cannot be from planet Earth. Especially when it comes on to children – sons to be precise – it is rare to find a man sitting down having a discussion with his son.
“There are hardly any good men left” a statement made all too well by most single women all because men are scared to be romantic. Can we as women and mothers teach our sons that it is OK for them to show love? What can fathers do to teach their sons? Should we urge our fathers to show and teach their boys that it is OK to be affectionate? What are some ways we can show unconditional love towards our kids?
Our fathers play such a unique role in the upbringing and moral codes of their kids. I will say, just like many other kids, that I have the best father in the world. As a daughter, my father taught me how to be an independent woman, a good employee, and an even better entrepreneur. I learnt how a man should treat me and any less is violation of my worth. I often wonder what young men are taught by their fathers as it relates to emotional compatibility.
I had taken the initiative -with grave concern regarding this matter- to ask men this same question and the responses vary. With that research being conducted, I came to the conclusion that it is possible to teach our sons how to be emotionally compatible, if and only if the parents, both mom and dad, are willing to put in that work. Simple as it seems, somethings are easier said than done and this is one of them. Children need both their mom and their dad to show them different aspects of life, there are certain things that a mom can teach that the dad can’t and vice versa.
Women are better able to express their feelings in various creative forms something that the child can learn, understand, and put into practice when necessary. With the same breath, men know how to control their feelings; when a child knows both sides, he will then decipher when to use what.
Within intimate relationships, we as women like to know that when we speak to our men, they can listen and understand and know when to say the right things at the right time. Within professional relationships and friendships, men should know how to control their feelings especially when situations arise that begs for a reaction. Are you seeing the pattern and the necessity of teaching such an important characteristic? What do you think happens when we forgo this requirement?
Let’s look within our home, Jamaica; there are countless young men who did not get that emotional support from their parents for reasons that are obvious. To show the extent of how important teaching this trait is, we see where young men have become a part of societies and clubs that are not in line with the law. Taking part in activities that has led to criminal activities which later ruin their lives; ending up in prison, morgue or the feeling of being unstable physically and mentally.
There are some men that have stepped up to be a male figure within the life of a young man, if the biological father is not available, whether a step-dad, brother, grand-father, god-father, uncle, and the list goes on. I must take this opportunity to stop and thank these men for stepping in and becoming a role-model for the youths of tomorrow. There are some educated and very successful men within our society that are making big impacts for the rest of the island and dare I say the world all which would not have been possible without you, thank you!
With all of this being said, in response to the question: Do we need to teach our sons how to be more emotionally compatible? My answer is yes, not just for intimate reasons but for surety that our sons will become the man that changes the world all by knowing how to control his emotions. What do you think?