Feelings, feelings, feelings

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There are times when you encounter situations and your emotions over power your sense of judgement and actions.  We may be faced with a team member who acts like our boss, our boss is overbearing and loves to micromanage us, and the list can continue.  But, do we stop to think about the message not the messenger?

I am of a strong belief that nothing happens without a reason, within every situation (good or bad) you can pick a lesson to learn and grow from.  Would you agree? I recently had the displeasure of dealing with an unpleasant situation, one in which I would not normally react how I did. After that encounter and speaking with my mom, I realized that if I was playing my part, maybe I wouldn’t have had that experience. I decided to shape up and do better next time but that wasn’t my only lesson learnt.

There are times when you are pursuing a goal/plan you aren’t certain about and you need that motivation. In my case, I was losing hope for just a second but this encounter seemed like the perfect reminder as to why I started in the first place.

Consider the following as I relate a few tips that helped me whenever I am faced with a situation that would force me out of character:

  1. Prayer – Religion is a topic that not a lot of people wish to discuss because it is controversial. Regardless, Jamaica is a Christian country meaning that most people believe in a supreme being; I am one of those people. I have never utilized prayer until two years ago when I was once again in another unpleasant situation. I didn’t want anyone to know how I felt, so I prayed and believe me when I say, it works! What am I saying?  Sometimes, you are faced with issues and you don’t know how to think, feel or act, just say a silent prayer, you will for sure feel the difference.
  2. Association – “Bad Association spoil useful habits.”  – 1 Corinthians 15:33.  Whether or not you want to admit it, you association has a lot to do with how you view things in life. I have been learning to choose my association very carefully, focusing on mature individuals. I yearned to master the art of self-control especially when people get on my ‘wrong side’. I wanted to know how to be the bigger person and so I asked myself, are the persons I engage with display the traits I want to adapt? Do these people have me in their best interest?
  3. Change your mindset – In my book, “Mi need fi achieve mi GOALS”, I discussed changing your mindset in one chapter.  Changing your mindset has such a profound impact on your perspective.  It requires us to take risks including but not limited to changing our speech, dress and grooming, friends, job even our physical location.  Change is a process, not an event which means that changing your mindset will not happen in a day. I say this to say that when you change your mindset on a situation, you change the entire situation. Let me give you an example, you had $1500 for lunch and somewhere within the day, you lost $500; instead of mumbling and grumbling about it, why not think, “Hey, I lost $500, but at least someone has lunch money for the day”
  4. 5 by 5 rule – The “5 by 5 rule” is pretty simple, it means, “If it’s not gonna matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it.”  Makes sense, doesn’t it?  Just read it one more time.  If the situation will not matter in 5 years, what is the point of worrying about it now? Will you feel the same way in 5 years as you do now?  Is the feeling worth you losing sleep, your job/career over?  Is the person worth it?

There are so many things that are bent on getting us out of character but there are more ways for us to remain intact.  As discussed above, prayer, our association, changing our mindset and using the 5 by 5 rule are all factors we should consider when we are in a sticky situation. Think about it, try it, and let me known how this article impacted you.

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