Have you ever realized the cycle of a relationship? Wait, did you even realize that
relationships are a cycle? Its funny isn’t it? You meet someone, you’re scared of
opening yourself him to him/her; you finally tear down your walls and allow that person.
Your trust and confidence grow and even though you doubt yourself, you decide to
go against your instinct and show full-blown love to your partner.
You’ve been through the late night calls, the early morning messages; you’ve lost hours
of sleep just to talk to the significant other. The willingness to drop any and everything
you are doing to be by their side. The time spent telling jokes, laughing, eating, and
meeting friends and family.
It may not be obvious the first few times but things begin to change, we received signs to
leave but we refuse to acknowledge receipt and act accordingly. Let me state an
example: you and partner are accustomed to speaking five (5) times over the phone
everyday as the days turn into weeks, then months then years, communication regresses
to three (3) times for the day, then it reaches a point where you guys no longer speak. It
is now at a level where you have nothing interesting to speak about or whatever your
partner says is disrespectful, obnoxious and the list will never end.
You open up yourself to someone who will eventually become a stranger. Sooner or
later, the same person you are so in love with today, you will walk pass on the streets and
not recognize them. Whether you remember the memories and joys shared is solely
dependent on each relationship, regardless, does it make sense to keep trying, keep doing
the same thing over and over?
It is a known fact that continuously repeating a failed action to receive a successful result
is insane. It doesn’t make sense, so what are some things you can do to ensure that the
next relationship you are involved in will be successful.
Here are some factors you can consider before entering a relationship:
- Stay true to yourself! Even though it’s extremely difficult to be you when it
comes on to people and relationships, it will reap rich rewards at the end of the
day. Afterall, who else can you be?
- Never allow your past to affect your future. No two person are the same, your
ex may have some excellent qualities that you loved and admired but don’t expect
your future partner to have the same qualities.
- Have high, but realistic expectations of your partner. It is not infeasible to
expect your partner to bring you out on a date or open the doors for you.
However, do not be impractical. If you both decide to build a house, save for a
car, or have kids, money is needed. Do not expect your partner to bring you out
on a date has regularly has they would if you both are saving towards a common
- Share the burden. So many women believe that the man is the only one
expected to do the “spoiling.” I am a firm believer that everything should be
50/50; if you have a partner that you love, as the woman, you can bring him out
for dinner at a fancy restaurant and pick up the bill. Take him shopping at his
favorite store, surprise him while at work with lunch or breakfast, send him a
detailed and heartfelt message, expressing how much you love and appreciate him
for everything he has done for you and that you are proud of the person he is
becoming. Believe me, men love that.
- Be someone your partner can run to not run away from. Listen to your
partner; allow them to feel a sense of release when they are with you. Rub their
back, feet or head while they are expressing to you what happened throughout
their day. Be a source of comfort not pain.
- Never build your relationship on sex, build it on trust, love, communication
and respect. Trust your partner enough to believe that he/she first before
believing the slander that follows. Love them with all your heart because times
will come when you will question yourself and your partner. Communication is
vital in every relationship, without it, no action you are taking would be necessary
and respect your partner; treat your partner how you’d treat yourself or how you
would like to be treated.
Now that I have stated at six actions that could jump start a new and strong
relationship what are your ideas?